Why are accountants...

Having some fun (CPA style) with Google search predictions.

It’s nearly summer and we’re between tax deadlines, so we thought it would be fun to lighten things up this month. After hours of planning, lots of charts, and a full reconciliation, we decided to ask Google.

We started typing “Why are accountants” into the Google search box, and let Google auto-complete the rest.

For those of you not familiar with Google search predictions, it’s a search setting where Google offers suggestions while you’re typing in your search parameters. Of course, as CPAs we wanted to know how search predictions worked. It turns out there’s an algorithm that predicts the rest of your search string. There are many factors, including popularity, but the suggestions all come from real searches by Google users.

Once we saw the search predictions, we decided to answer the questions. Please forgive the humor, or lack thereof. We’re accountants after all.

Why are accountants so important to a corporation? An accountant is an independent source of financial feedback and professional advice. Well-kept books are critical for financial success – the foundation for future forecasting and strategic planning.

Why are accountants called bean counters? There are a variety of reported origins, but my favorite story is from 2,500 years ago in ancient Greece. Minor election winners were determined by the appearance of a white bean from a machine filled with black and white beans. Bean counters were the guardians of democracy!

Why are accountants paid so little? We wonder that same thing every day… Actually, I think this has more to do with recent college graduates seeking careers in accounting. Entry pay is pretty good, but salaries increase quickly as grads gain experience and pass the CPA exam.

Why are accountants in high demand? This is a great time to be an accountant with the improving economy and increased regulatory demands driving record demand for accountants. Director of Finance is #10 on the CNN Money list of top jobs in America! CPAs are #51 and rising.

Why are accountants so boring? We’re actually pretty wild people, but we keep that well-hidden to preserve the image of the green-visored accountant hunched over the vintage adding machine. I’ve always believed that your job is only boring if you let it get that way. We don’t.

Why are accountants so cheap? If your CPA was driving around in a Lamborghini and inviting friends over to his 100-acre estate for a tasting of the latest $3,000 release of Pappy Van Winkle Reserve bourbon, what would you think? I’m not an attorney, but I rest my case.

Why are accountants so valuable to the organization? No organization can operate effectively without accounting. Accountants accurately report the past and help project the future. We help stakeholders make better business decisions by providing and interpreting financial information.

Why are accountants so weird? People think we’re unusual? How about… “My accountant wants me to get my tax documents in before the filing deadline.” or “My accountant won’t let me deduct my daughter’s wedding as an entertainment expense.” We’re all a little crazy sometimes…

Why are accountants important to society?  What fun would the world be without accounting jokes?

Why are accountants paid so much? Your fees help pay for the staff, benefits, computers, software, rent, utilities, advanced degrees, continuing education, etc. You do the math… All kidding aside, we’re paid based on the value we provide you and your business.

Blog post disclaimer

This article contains general humor that may or may not actually be funny. It is intended for informational purposes only. Any reliance on this information to make you laugh is done entirely at the risk of the reader. Past comedic performance is not indicative of future results.

Have a happy and safe summer!

Neal Bach, CPA